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| Trieu asked me " But are you happy with going to SJSU?"
I told her " Yes and no"
If someone were to ask me what is one of the things that would hurt me right now?
That people will look at me in a low way. It hurts so much to hear the reactions of people when they hear that I chose to go to SJSU. " Why would you do that if you joined IB?" " You could do better" "SJSU sucks why go there?" yadida. Yeah, I had high hopes for going to USF. I worked hard at that, and got rejected into the nursing program, so I will not go there. I thought of everything that would be best for me and my family. Financial wise, I think it is best that I go to SJSU for me and my family especially since I got no money from Cal grant. A private is out of the question.
In terms of my major, I want to become a Pediatric Nurse. I love working with children, and I want to make a difference in lives. It is my dream. I don't think a UC will offer me anything that involves my major.
Yes, I may fight hard for IB. But, I don't view it as a waste. It pushed me. It made me cry, and has made me stronger. I know life would be so much easier if I didn't join IB, but I got the best out of my free education.
I am really happy that my parents are giving me the option of getting an apartment despite the fact that I am right there. Yeah, people laugh at that because to them it makes no sense, but to me... I need it. It has my dream to be independent finally. They knew that I want to be on my own and they respect my wishes.
So, please spare me all looks, laughs, and sayings. I am fed up with it.
When Winsatt told me my freshman year that I can get to any college I want to if I take IB. He lied...
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| Let him know that you know what's best cause afterall you do know best.
I slept during Maging Sino Ka Man. I guess you can say I sung myself to sleep. I don't remember sleeping but i remember nothing all the time. I woke up and now i can't sleep. Don't you just hate that? You toss and turn hoping any second you could sleep. Then you lay on your bed and wonder why can't you sleep. Perhaps, it was the Chai Tea that i drank last night that corrupted my sleeping pattern or perhaps ? I don't know but all i know is that i can't sleep.
90/500 applicants get admitted into USF for nursing.
I will be really sad if i have to go to church alone tomorrow... =/ hopefully, nam or laura would go with me.
You begin to wonder why you came.
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thanks quiii quii ya nastey for taking me out to eat ice cream. yeee<33 ha, people spoil me too much.
So, I didn't get to run with nam because the track was closed, but in my opinion walking up and down lone mountain 4 times and up and down another hill is like excercise. USF is filled with many hills. Booty. haha... but i like the environment. At first, I was intimidated. I don't know why since I hang out in SJSU all the time, but I felt that way. Dorms are freakin' small. The church is beautiful. I don't have to go and find a church because there is one in walking distance. =] . Random fact: That church was in the wedding planner. I knew it looked familliar. It's really pretty.
So, the lady told me all of the books are e books and it is open 24/7. =) . haha, a yay yuhh. It's totally quiet in there, so i wont think I have any trouble. To the right is the beautiful view of the ocean and to the left is downtown. I like how it's near the ocean because it soothes me. Oh, and it's by golden gate park =] yee boy! haha, I want to go there one day with snoop and just rollerblade around with him. Then, we'll reach all the way to the golden gate bridge and back. I can't wait. Snoop is going to like it there, but that when I get my condo there bitch. haha... I'll sneak him in.
I dont think i will be able to cook freshman year or sophomore year and for laundry... looks like i'll be going home some days. I already know how to use the dryer sorta? I just clicked the button and randomly turned it hoping nothing bad would happen.
I put my profile to private because people bother me, but i will take it off because i can't listen to music.
It's 730 and I feel sleepy..... | | |
| I've learned that if you want it back you are going to have to fight harder for it and prove yourself otherwise you are left with nothing.
I am just so worn out from everything that it is just hard for me to pick it back up. Maybe, I needed this break. Why? I need a break from everything. Everything that needed me and that has drained so much from me. To be honest, I feel better now not worrying about anything.
Seriously, I was going to run away to the beach where I dug up that letter three years ago on sunday. Perhaps, just to see if it is still there or just to write a new one. Maybe I'll run away to that place someday this week. I think I need it...
On a sidenote, I thought it was sweet that nammy boy, kingkay, and dynamite quickly went to my house after I talked to Nam even if I wasn't home. Before that some butthole almost got me into an accident with him because he thought he was hardcore and decided to race with his friends and switch to mine lane. So, I quickly moved to the other lane and good thing no one was there. When I got to Nammy boy's house we played Clue and games that usuallly involve gambling. It was fun. Thanks Tina for the Chai Tea Latte. Nammy boy is taking me to run tomorrow after I go to USF.
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In my head there's only you now.
This world falls on me.
Have you ever felt like you had everything you had ever wished for in your life, but thougt there was some kind of catch? Sometimes, I think that way. Don't get me wrong. I don't ask for much, in fact I don't ask for anything at all. I am not all that selfish ( Although, I am not going to say I am or not because that is a lie and I think in some way everyone is selfish ) I'll admit, I feel like sometimes I have things that I shouldn't have. I don't know... maybe i am paying back for things that I take forgranted.
So, the dreadful month of Febuary continues. . I hasn't been great so far. Yesterday, I got a flat tire at Santana Row and it took about 2 hours to get home. I am glad I got to experience it with Jay. It's something me and her needed to learn by ourselves. Thanks for the people from Chicago. Chicago rules baby! haha...
I found out so many things this week. It kind of drains me. So many problems. Maybe this is a test? Sometimes, I dream that angels jump out of nowhere and tell me that this is all a dream and that by morning everything will be better, but I know better than to listen to my dreams.
"This might sound silly, but I have this fear that one day you'll finally get a good look at me and I am going to disappoint you. That you'll see that I am not as strong or as good as you think I am and I am afraid that I'll change the way you feel about me." | | |
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